Clinical Social Work/Therapist, Ph.D., LCSW
Some of my most rewarding work has been helping individuals and couples work through the difficulties in their relationships. A healthy relationship between a couple is essential in both marriage and divorce.
With most fights, there are layers of what we mean, feel, intend, hope for, and believe, and what we actually say. We may only say a little of how we feel, or we may even say the opposite of how we’re feeling on a much deeper level than the surface. Problems arise when we don’t come from the deeper levels.
Some people think that the top layer of what they feel and think is all that there is, yet they feel something’s missing in their relationship. Others know how they feel but instead of stating their feelings as their own, they blame how they feel on their lover, leading to hurt feelings and arguing that goes nowhere. This is often the time that people call it quits on a relationship.
Many break-ups occur because we do not know how to get to our inner depth, or getting to it, how to share it. What we want to say isn’t what comes out of our mouths. We argue about something meaningless in order to get space from our lover, rather than feel the anxiety or fear we may have about setting boundaries or looking at what we need. We argue to feel more alive, instead of looking at what is missing in our life. We argue about what our lover spent money on, rather than face our own issues about money. We argue as a way to control our lover, rather than face our fear of being controlled. Regardless of the content of the argument, until we are prepared to express and respect our lover’s deeper feelings, beliefs, and meanings (and s/he respects ours), very little change can take place.
We can work around our lover’s “sensitive points,” expect them to do the same for us, and make compromises, but how far does that really take us? While problem-solving can help, particularly in the immediate future, often it isn’t enough for the long run. As long as the deeper issues remain unaddressed, our relationship will be flattened, soured, or lost to meaningless fights.
I help my individual clients and couples develop stronger emotional, behavioral, and communication skills so that they can express needs, wants, anger and frustration more openly and confidently. Helping individuals and couples develop greater self-awareness and resolve differences provides an opportunity for healing, closeness, and a sense of purpose or resolve.
I am a counselor with over 18 years of experience working with adults, couples, and families. I will help you regain the courage to face your issues and provide the necessary tools to make positive, lasting changes in your life.
License, Certifications & Awards:
MSW, LCSW, PhD
Certified Sex Therapist
Certified Divorce Mediator
Northwestern University: Sex Therapy Certification
Northwestern University: Divorce Mediation & Conflict Resolution Certification
Member of the American Psychological Association (APA)
Member of Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR)